Mr Rippers... Lets Kill and Chill!!!!

Mr Rippers... Lets Kill and Chill!!!!
Alright.
Deep breath.
Knife?
Check.
Mask?
Check.
Menacing silence?
Double check.
I am Michael Freaking Myers.
I load into Haddonfield, my old stomping grounds.
Literally.
I stomp.
Silently.
Menacingly.
Iām the strong, silent type, like if Batman and a brick wall had a baby.
I spot a survivor.
Sheās crouched behind a bush like a budget ninja.
I stand there.
Just⦠watching.
Creepy, right?
She finally looks up.
We lock eyes.
I donāt blink.
Mostly because my mask doesnāt have eyelids.
She bolts.
Ah, the chase begins.
But I donāt run.
Oh no.
Running is for cardio bros and cross-country teams. I stalk.
I evil within level up like a murder-powered PokƩmon.
By the time I hit Evil Within III, Iāve got the stride of a man who just remembered where he parked.
My knife is basically a lightsaber of doom at this point.
I lunge.
I miss.
I lunge again.
I miss again.
Curse these floaty knife physics.
Who greased my bladeāWD-40?
FinallyāBAMādown she goes.
I pick her up like Iām her disapproving uncle carrying her out of a frat party.
I hang her on a hook like a Halloween decoration.
Fitting.
Somewhere, someoneās flashlight-clicking at me like a Morse code insult.
I chase them too, but trip over a pallet like a discount villain in a Scooby-Doo episode.
Eventually, they escape.
But not before teabagging me at the exit gate like Iām some kind of knife-wielding noob.
But thatās okay.
Because I donāt scream.
I donāt shout.
I just⦠stand there.
Watching.
Waiting.
And silently promising to find them in the next match.
Because Iām Michael Myers.
And Iāve got all the time in the world.
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